When People Come To Stay – Rules For Good Hosts

I was recently commission by Mobility Plus (stay with me here) to think about making homes guest-ready and welcoming. All thoughts & opinons my own, obvs.

Planning for houseguests over the holidays? Don’t fret. Whilst yes, it’s an invasion on the normal household rhythm, and yes it does require a little more than simply pumping up the spare bed and pointing them to the spare duvet, it can also be fabulously fun. No one expects you to actually install an easy-access walk-in shower when elderly relatives come to stay for a few nights. BUt there’s loads of small things you can do to make your hosue a welcoming haven for your guests – however eldelry they are.

Here’s our top etiquette rules for being a great host:  if your guests feel welcome, they relax – and then you all have a good time. 

1. Set a specific start and end date for the visit.

We learned this one the hard way during a much-too-long Christmas visit with overtired grandparents and overtired children, both of whom loved each other but who was quietly aching for some space to ‘be’. It’s a simple thing to confirm the expected leaving day before your guest arrives – even the best of hosts becomes a bad one when their guests overstay their welcome.

grandparents arriving By Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock

This post contains affiliate links – you don’t pay any more, but I may earn a teensy smidge of commission (which frankly just helps my coffee habit). But I never recommend something to you I wouldn’t recommend to my sister. And yes, I do love my sister.

2. Be a prepared host.

Check your details in advance – double check the dates at least a week before, and also what time they expect to arrive (and if they’re not driving, do they need a lift from the station?). Ask about any allergies, check they know you have pets, and ask about diet requirements. no one wants to discover they have a vegan at the table just as they’re serving up roast beef…
Also check what they might fancy doing – outdoors enthusiasts will prefer borrowing your bike to a quiet afternoon in an art gallery!

ginger tom cat sleeping happily
Sleeping extra guest cat By Dalibor Valek | Shutterstock

3. Sleep Them Well.

What’s the first thing you notice about a hotel room or a holiday cottage when you climb into bed? A good mattress and really nice bed linen (we’re particular fans of Julian Charles if you’re thinking your ten year old duvet set with that weird grey stain at the bottom probably doesn’t quite cut it).
If you do decide to splash out and invest in a new set of guest bed linen then remember to wash it before you use it – brand new linen is horribly stiff and smells properly weird!)

4. Feed & Water Them!

morning coffee and cake time
Morning Coffee and Cake By Africa Studio | Shutterstock

Of course it’s absolutely normal for your kids and husband to rummage around in the cupboards and the fridge, and bemoan the fact theres ‘never anything to eat in here’. But guests simply won’t rummage, even if you invite them to – make sure you offer them lots of drinks and snacks.

5. Small Things Make A Big Welcome

If they will be sleeping in a spare room, then leave out a welcome tray of essentials (I wrote about this here, with loads of ideas and suggestion on Easy Steps To A Welcoming & Cosy Guest Bedroom).
If they’re sleeping in someone else’s room, make sure you empty the bin, clear the surfaces and leave some space for their things.
If they’ll be sleeping in a family room be sure to actually set up the bed for them, and be sure they still have a glass of water and a bedside lamp. Always let your guests know what time you’ll all be up and eating breakfast (and expect to go to bed!).

Love this little wooden plaque I spotted on Etsy – perfect to casually leave where any visitors can see it. Just £5.50!

6. Make your home guest-friendly.

Leave spare towels where they’re easily visible (maybe different colours to the family towels). Make sure they know how to work the TV, have the Wi-Fi code, and know where the tea & coffee are. If there are children coming, then make sure you remove your breakables, and have a selection of toys/books/paper&pens ready for them.

7. Share Your Plans 

family planning on fridge
details on the fridge image By Africa Studio | Shutterstock

If it’s just a short stay, then alter your normal schedule where possible to focus on your guests. If it’s a long stay, then make sure they know when you’ll be around – most guests don’t mind being left, but they do mind being left hanging. Let them know when you’ll be at work or have other commitments, or you’re playing taxi service for the kids. Maybe even keeping all the details on the fridge in plain sight for easy reference.

8. Give Them A Break

Don’t fill up their every minute – no one wants that. You’ll need a break just as much as your guest will! Elderly guests especially appreciate some down time when they can snooze, read the paper or simply go for a walk themselves. Go do something alone, but do set a time limit – “I’m just heading out for a run, I’ll be about an hour – I have my phone if you need me” or “I’m going to cut the grass and potter in the garden for a bit. Shout if you need me, or I’ll just see you for pre-dinner drinks at 6!”

9. Set The House Rules.

Don’t spend your time quietly grinding your teeth at your guest wearing their shoes in the living room. Be friendly and open about the basic rules – we all have a few, and no guest minds being told them (but they do mind that strange feeling of doing something wrong but knowing what it is). As soon as they arrive, if it’s their first visit cheerfully announce ‘we’re a no-shoes house, and please don’t let the dog out the front!’
You can’t stop a smoker being a smoker, but if you’re a non-smoking house then don’t be rude; just suggest that if they need a cigarette, you’ve left an ashtray on the patio, and there’s a big umbrella by the back door if it’s raining.

10. Entertain The Evenings!

family games night
Games Night By Standret | Shutterstock

Ask your guests what they’d like to do for the evening; they might love to sit up late for a family games night (we have some excellent group card game suggestions right here) – or it might be their idea of actual hell. They may love to settle by the fire and watch a movie – or they may feel that’s a bit rude of you when they want to sit and chat with you in the local pub. Simply give them a couple of options, and let them choose.

Author: Laura

A 70's child, I’ve been married for a Very Long Time, and appear to have made four children, and collected one large and useless dog along the way. I work, I have four children, I have a dog… ergo, I do not do dusting or ironing. I began LittleStuff back in (gulp) 2004. I like huge mugs of tea. And Coffee. And Cake. And a steaming cone of crispy fresh fluffy chips, smothered in salt and vinegar. #healthyeater When I grow up I am going to be quietly graceful, organised and wear lipstick every day. In the meantime I *may* have a slight butterfly-brain issue.

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