The Vileda Steam Mop vs the chicken poo dog sick. Yes, really.

Most days I love my job.
Occasionally there are days when it annoys me.
And sometimes, it feels like the Universe is giving me a prod…

A few weeks ago, Vileda asked if I’d like to review their steam mop. Sure, I said – my old one had died a death last year and I’d never got round to replacing it.
I popped it under the stairs, and promised myself to give the laminate floors a once-over in a few days.
Only of course a couple of weeks passed, and the mop was still languishing where I’d left it. To be fair, the chickens had arrived at the same time as the workload increased, so steam cleaning floors was relatively low on my (admittedly non-domestic-goddess’ self) To Do list.
So the Universe clearly decided to give the dog a nudge.

Blue, keeping an eye on the girls. I know - butter wouldn't melt, right?
Blue, keeping an eye on the girls. I know – butter wouldn’t melt, right?

It seems that in the world of Blue, chicken poo is pretty much as tasty as it gets. Think catnip to cats, mealworms to Robins, and Lindt Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Bar to me.
Only it clearly doesn’t agree with her insides as much as it agrees with her nose and tongue…
Half an hour after shooing the dog away from the chickens’ roosting slats I was preparing to hose off in the garden, I discovered this on the lounge carpet…
I know, lovely, right? I mean I’ve sanitised it by removing the solids part. But I didn’t clap my hands with glee at the thought of getting this out of the cream carpet.
But then I had a happy remembering, and out came the Vileda steam mop. I connected all the parts neatly. I turned on the plug and… nothing.
Not a thing.
Clearly this was a broken one – not a good start.
Then as I grumpily flapped the instructions and the steam cleaner at the husband to demonstrate how it was so flipping simple to set up that of COURSE I hadn’t got it wrong that I spotted the ‘on’ switch in the back of the machine.
So if you actually manage to turn it ON, the steam mop steams up beautifully ;)


No chemicals used – I just slowly and surely steamed back and forth over the small icky spot, and it gradually disappeared from in front of me. The steam cleaner isn’t a vacuum – a quick one-two sweep across won’t do the job. You need to be patient and methodical, and allow the steam time to do its job.
But it really does do its job…

I know Blue was trying to be helpful (come on, she’d even placed it perfectly in a patch of sunlight for decent photo opps…), but I could obviously do without her ‘assistance’ in the reviewing. I genuinely have enough to do already. Clearly she thought otherwise.
A few days later, post-chicken-run-clean, I had popped the droppings in the veggie patch, where it makes awesome fertiliser. Knowing the dogs’ fondness for the hen poo, I made a quick vague attempt to bury it – not worrying too much, as Blue’s never been a digger.
Silly silly me.

Later that day, I heard a hideous gagging retching noise, followed by way too wet a sound for my comfort. Flying down the stairs, I realised I had been far too confident in my burial efforts. So keen to get to the chicken poo, Blue had clearly taken in half the soil too.
Yeah, her stomach doesn’t like the soil any more than it likes the poo.
Also – I have pale carpet in my porch and hall. She could have opted for the laminated playroom or conservatory, or even the black tiled kitchen, of course – but seriously, where’s the fun in that?


Yes – that’s regurgitated chicken-poo-compost-earth dog vomit.

It’s almost like she KNEW I had a steam cleaner to get on and review, isn’t it?

All I can say is pray you never know just how bad that smelled.

So having scraped off as much as I could (oh, god, the stench…) I cracked on, and let the Vileda Steam mop at the stain. A full five minutes slow steady steaming, and this is how we looked;


Not quite perfect, but good enough – and the smell had gone too. Flipping brilliant. The following morning I attacked it with a small amount of vanish washing powder and another good steam, and now you’d never know anything had happened.

So – I don’t think I actually need to say much more than that, do I? Except to say that Blue and Chicken Poo are now being kept far far apart…

Vileda’s Steam mop is easy to fill, the water tank is big enough to not need to be perpetually refilled, it’s a simple on/off and temperature control (on switch is on the back, people) and the wire is long enough to allow you to clean a complete room. On a less grim review note, it handles laminate floors like a dream, leaving them shiny, and you embarrassed at how grubby they were without you knowing.

The best price I’ve found for the Vileda Steam Mop is Amazon – £55.

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Author: Laura

A 70's child, I’ve been married for a Very Long Time, and appear to have made four children, and collected one large and useless dog along the way. I work, I have four children, I have a dog… ergo, I do not do dusting or ironing. I began LittleStuff back in (gulp) 2004. I like huge mugs of tea. And Coffee. And Cake. And a steaming cone of crispy fresh fluffy chips, smothered in salt and vinegar. #healthyeater When I grow up I am going to be quietly graceful, organised and wear lipstick every day. In the meantime I *may* have a slight butterfly-brain issue.

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