The Four, the Laundry, the Life… In Which I Discover the World According To The Boys.
A short while ago, one of my favourite bloggers decided to interview her 5 yr old daughter. Genius idea. So genius, in fact, that it spread. Soon another took up the challenge to investigate the inner mind of their child. then another, and another… and I can resist no longer. I just had to know what my own children would say (except for pink, of course, who would simply say ‘NO!” or “Way-bu-y-o-o-o–oon” to everything. With maybe a ‘Jam, please!’ thrown in). So, here it is. The world according to the Blue Ones – No.1 is 11, so I expected sensible things. Boy is 8 – I *hoped* for moderately sensible. Jolly is 7, and never remotely sensible…
What’s Daddy’s job?
No.1 – “Photographer – are these going to get harder?”
Boy – “Takes pictures at weddings and stuff”
Jolly – “Photographs!”
How old do you have to be to drive a car?
No.1 – “17” (sigh)
Boy – “18 or older”
Jolly – “over 18 at least”
How old is Mummy?
No.1 – “30… (hesitates, wanting to be honest, but kind) something?”
Boy – “31”
Jolly – “32”
*(35 is right, so they were VERY kind)
How old is Daddy?
No.1 – “43”
Boy – “43”
Jolly – “42”
*He’s 43 – and they all remember his 40th)
When Gangy & Bumpa babysit, where do you think Mummy and Daddy are?
No.1 – “At the cinema, eating.. wherever”
Boy – “At the hospital”
Jolly – “Out somewhere… probably having a baby”
(* I promise we HAVE been out since Pink was born three years ago. Honest.)
What do you think the Queen looks like?
No.1 – “Grey hair, wrinkles, crown… not really sure”
Boy – “Very Posh”
Jolly – “Not that pretty… but I still like her”
What does your brother do to annoy you?
No.1 – “Trash my room”
Boy – “Well No.1 is just a bit generally, like, annoying. And Jolly is just a bit… annoying. And Pink can be just a bit, like, you know, annoying.”
Jolly – “Say rude names to me”
(*I chose carefully not to investigate further on which rude names)
Where would you like to go on holiday this year? Anywhere in the world?
No.1 – “Scotland”
Boy – “The Peak District (pauses, glazes over and smiles longingly)… Or Butlins.”
Jolly – “Scotland or the Peak District. Or Wales. Or any where with moors really.”
Where do babies come from?
No.1 – “You!”
Boy – “Mummys Tummies”
Jolly – “Mummy’s Tummy”
(*I am of course solely responsible for all babies. Ever.)
How do the babies get inside their Mummies?
No.1 – *snort*… *embarrassed giggle*… flushed cheeks…”You don’t REALLY want me to answer that, do you?”
Boy – “erm… I don’t know, actually” (settles down expecting a full explanation right NOW…)
Jolly – “They grow in a big water balloon thingy”
What do you want to be when you grow up?
No.1 – “Oh, well, nothing set yet. You know, I have PLENTY of time to settle on a career choice.”
Boy – “An Author!” (This is new, a month ago it was a rally driver. The he discovered Hiccup the Viking and Astrosaurs.).
Jolly – “Well, I’m going to be an Army Man, but then when I get bored I’m going to design cars”
If you could be anyone else who would you be?
No.1 – “Harry Potter”
Boy – “Tegs” (from the Astrosaurs books)
Jolly – “Friday O’Leary. The truth is LEMON MERINGUE!” (Mr Gum books, in case you’ve not had the pleasure)
Who do you think is in charge of the country.
No.1 – “The Queen. Or the Prime Minister.”
Boy – “The King! Or maybe it’s the Queen…”
Jolly – Well, the Government work for them, I don’t know who they are… The President?”
If you had children what would their names be?
No.1 – “I haven’t thought THAT far ahead!”
Boy – “Henry.”
Jolly – “Frank, George… and for a girl Megan.”
Who is Barack Obama?
No.1 – “President of the USA”
Boy – “I haven’t a clue”
Jolly – *silent blank face*
How much pocket money do you think you should get per week?
No.1 – “£5” (the actual limit he may earn with chores)
Boy – “£3.50” (again, the maximum he can currently earn)
Jolly – “£5” (aspirations towards oldest brothers allowance of riches)
Who is most clever … Mummy or Daddy?
No.1 – “Both of you” *grin*
Boy – “Daddy. Because he just is.”
Jolly – “Both of you” *big shiny eyes and slightly wobbly mouth at the thought of having to choose*
If you were a Mummy what would you let your children do that I don’t?
No.1 – “Stay up later!”
Boy – “Go out on lots more nice outings, play more games together” (*parental wibble…*)
Jolly – “Play xbox every single day. And the Wii. And NEVER do my lunchbox.”
Who’s your best friend in the whole world?
No.1 – “Danny & Olly”
Boy – “Aaron & Josh”
Jolly – “Jake. Today.”
And there, ladies and gentlemen, you have it. the world according the The Blue Ones.
