Every teen wants to feel encouraged, and when they’re starting every day in a supportive home environment, it does wonders for their mental health.
We all know how busy family life can get. Maybe you feel you’ll never have time to sit down and come up with tools for creating such an environment. Don’t worry, we get it, and that’s why we’ve done the work for you!
Keep reading to discover our best tips and tricks for making your teen feel supported at home.
How Your Teen’s Environment Affects their Mental Health
Experiencing different moods depending on our environment is not something that’s unique to teens. Factors such as lighting, space, noise, and comfort levels can all influence the way we feel; and the knock-on effect can even vary based on what’s going on in our lives, how much sleep we’ve had, how much we’ve eaten etc.
Generally, calm environments support emotional regulation, helping us to acknowledge and act on our feelings in a controlled way, rather than feeling ruled by our emotions. For example, being in nature often enhances our positive emotions.
Our environment isn’t just about what’s around us; it’s also about who is around us, and how they make us feel. Just as soft lighting and comfy seating can boost emotional regulation, so can open dialogue and positive reinforcement.
Everyday Habits That Create a Supportive Home Environment for Teens
As you prepare to create a more supportive home environment, the key tool to nurture is resilience. Teens are at a notoriously challenging stage of life, so you may find you experience some pushback, but remember this is developmentally normal. With some resilience, you will eventually reap the benefits of making your teen feel loved and supported.
Supporting your teen isn’t possible without connection. Keep this at the forefront of your mind, and always be thinking about ways you can connect with your teen without overwhelming them.
Sometimes, you’ll have to encourage them to get more involved with family activities, and other times, giving them space before inviting them back in is the most supportive thing you can do. It’s all about finding the right balance.
You may want to try connecting through:
? Sharing a high and low point of your day
? Inviting your teen out on a walk or for a coffee
? Asking your teen questions about their hobbies and interests
? Removing screens during meal time
? Helping your teen to build a productive daily routine
? Reminiscing on old memories
You don’t need to spend hours and hours each day on this. Even 10 minutes of daily connection shows your teen you’re serious about supporting them, and helps build trust in the complex parent-teen relationship dynamic.
Even if you feel things are going well with you and your teen (first, pat yourself on the back!), incorporating these small acts of connection can prevent future conflict from arising, and as parents, that’s music to our ears.
Assessing Your Physical Home Environment: Is it Conducive to Support?
Now, this isn’t about making sure your house is spotless, or feeling like you need to give your teen the biggest bedroom.
Instead, look around your house and question whether each room would bring a sense of calm to your teen, or whether you could make some minor tweaks to help them feel more relaxed at home. This might include:
? Buying plants for your teen’s bedroom
? Removing clutter build-up
? Embracing natural light as much as possible
? Playing calming music around the house
Some parents choose to involve their teens in this process, asking them what would make them feel calmer in their home, and requesting their help to make that happen e.g., agreeing which old belongings to give to charity, or deciding on new decorations for the teen’s room.
How Does Parental Support Shift in the Transition from Child to Teenager?
Before incorporating changes into your home environment, it’s important to understand how children’s mental health needs naturally change as they get older, so you know how best to respond to your teen’s needs.
Young children crave routine, reassurance, and play. They also thrive with plenty of validation, structure, and creative outlets. It’s your job as a parent to provide this for them, and to spend lots of time with them as they navigate new feelings and experiences.
When children approach the teenage years, it’s not that this all goes away overnight, but they’re learning independence, and therefore your role shifts significantly over the years.
They’re likely to take more ownership over things like their routine and creative outlets.
Around this time, they also need more privacy than ever. It’s something many parents find hard to adapt to, but remember it’s not about their love for you dwindling, but more about their healthy development into a responsible adult.
That being said, teens still need reassurance and validation in a different way, and supplying this can help your teen to feel stable when other aspects of life are perhaps destabilising.
In terms of routine and structure, while you won’t be arranging playdates anymore, continuing with family habits such as cooking dinner or planning family days together shows your teen you are still fully invested in them, and your support is as strong as ever.
What About Your Wellbeing as a Parent?
We’ve talked a lot about making your teen feel encouraged, but what about you? The way you feel is hugely influential on the mental health of your family, including your teenagers.
Just as we’re told to secure our own life vests before our children’s, we should make sure our own mental health is in check first and foremost by:
? Taking some time for yourself each day
? Leaning on support in your family, friendship groups, community etc
? Prioritising self-care (exercise, meditation, breathing breaks, therapy etc)
? Sharing the load with a partner if possible
Contrary to how you might feel about this, putting yourself first is likely to make your teens feel more secure. You will have more energy to invest in them, and this is something your kids very often pick up on.
Let’s not beat around the bush: some parents are struggling so much that a short meditation or a family day isn’t going to restore their battery. In these scenarios, more support is needed.
Ploughing on is rarely a sensible option once you’ve reached this point. If you’re dealing with things like appetite changes, sleep issues, extreme fatigue, and irritability, this will be impacting your own mental health as well as your teen’s, and there’s hope out there for you if you seek help.
If we look at the example of parental alcoholism, we can clearly see the value of early intervention in mental health. Adolescents whose parents have had an alcohol addiction are more likely to start drinking from a young age, partake in illegal activities, and experience mental health disorders.
However, parents who seek help early are much more likely to maintain sobriety long-term, particularly if they pursue a comprehensive type of recovery i.e., alcohol rehab, which offers an alcohol detox and comprehensive therapy. See what the experts have to say about their top alcohol home detox tips.
One of the main obstacles preventing parents from seeking support is the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Please remember that self-blame will only lead to feelings of shame, whereas accepting yourself and understanding you are dealing with an illness can help you to advocate for yourself by getting professional help.
Perfection isn’t the goal when it comes to supporting your teens. Instead, focus on connection. With connection on your mind, it’s second nature to create an environment that promotes positive mental health for both your teen and yourself.
Through individual and family habits, you can gradually build a home environment that makes your teen feel calm, supported, and safe to express themselves without judgement.
