Discussing Self Esteem with Your Teenage Girl

When your daughter reaches her teenage years, she may seem to lack the confidence that she once had as a child. This may be fairly obvious if she becomes withdrawn, but can also be covered up through teenage behaviour and even an argumentative nature. To help your daughter to regain that comfort in who she is, you may want to have a conversation with her regarding what it is that has caused her self esteem to suffer. Not only could this help her resolve any issues, but it can also show her that you are still there to support her.

Image Problems

If your daughter dislikes the way that she looks, this could be affecting her self-esteem. Some problems could be easily resolved, such as helping her to find fashion trends that she loves and feels good in, or even taking her to have a change made to her hair. Others may require a bit more of a permanent solution. When it comes to certain alterations to her image, such as facial piercings or even surgery at Cadogan Clinic, you may want to consider setting a minimum age for you to agree to those changes, or even inform her that, while you support her need for personal growth, they may need to be left until she is an adult and give informed consent for herself. By setting boundaries, you will be showing that you are still there for her in a parental role, but that you do support her in finding ways to love herself.

Concerns about Education

At times, your daughter may also worry about her school performance. While it may not seem to be very trendy to excel academically, she may want to do as well as possible to be able to attend university or pursue her goals. If her grades do not currently align with this, this may cause some level of anxiety. When you consider that school children usually pick their GCSEs at around age 13, it is clear that a lot of pressure is put on them from a fairly young age. By supporting your daughter with homework, and finding ways that help her to learn as an individual, she may feel better about trying to reach her career and educational goals.


During her teenage years, your daughter may be subject to a number of hormones that cause changes to her appearance and even behaviour. In particular, girls who have entered puberty earlier than the rest of their peers may struggle with anxiety regarding these changes. Reassuring your daughter that this is normal, and helping her to manage any symptoms, alter skincare routines, and even change her wardrobe, may help to alleviate some of these worries.

Having a teenage daughter may not always be easy, but it can be quite rewarding. By helping her to improve her self-esteem and image, you may be able to keep your bond strong, as well as to help her grow into a confident, capable young woman.

Author: Laura

A 70's child, I’ve been married for a Very Long Time, and appear to have made four children, and collected one large and useless dog along the way. I work, I have four children, I have a dog… ergo, I do not do dusting or ironing. I began LittleStuff back in (gulp) 2004. I like huge mugs of tea. And Coffee. And Cake. And a steaming cone of crispy fresh fluffy chips, smothered in salt and vinegar. #healthyeater When I grow up I am going to be quietly graceful, organised and wear lipstick every day. In the meantime I *may* have a slight butterfly-brain issue.

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