Carless Whispers – In which Keris says hello to her new car. *sniff*
Yes, it’s been a while, but this is the very last in our Carless Whispers series, in which Keris went from two cars to no cars inside a fortnight – and so decided to save the money and remain carless. You can go back and see the series here if you’ve missed it – but here’s the Very Last One. *sob*
I’m not sure whether it was the week with the Skoda Roomster, the relentless rain, or the prospect of another snowy winter, but I finally had to accept it was time for our carless experiment to come to an end.
We lasted out for over a year, which is much longer than I ever would have imagined we could manage without a car and I am actually glad we did it. You could read back over the columns to find out why, but I know you’re busy so I’ll just summarise:
- The boys got used to public transport. It was often a massive pain in the backside, but I think it was good for them to have the experience of waiting. And of other (sometimes unpleasant, sometimes drunk) people.
- Walking the school run made me fitter, but I didn’t actually lose any weight. Possibly because I often stopped at the newsagents. In both directions. On both journeys. Ahem.
- The conversations with the boys while walking the school run made the whole thing worthwhile. We talked about everything, we laughed, we sang, we even danced. And we saw lots of wildlife and other things (like the plumber’s van with a trompe l’oeil door featuring the bottom half of the plumber sitting on the loo) that we probably would never have seen from the car.
So we bought a car. Second-hand obviously – and sadly not a Skoda Yeti – but it’s rather lovely all the same.
There were a few teething problems: the inside lights didn’t go out, the back wiper didn’t work, the battery ran out as I was driving home and I mounted the kerb while squeaking out a swear, but it was all sorted out quickly and easily (albeit expensively) and now we’re fully mobile again.
And honestly? It’s so much better.
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In which Keris thinks about cars.
In case you’re new around here, the lovely Keris Stainton writes a (sporadic) column for us, called Carless Whispers – describing life as she unwillingly swapped two cars for NO cars. If you want to catch up, you might want to go back to the beginning… start at the bottom and scroll up…)
We’ve been on holiday. Yes, we’re still carless, but we didn’t use public transport – that would be impossible. Yeah, okay, not impossible, but hugely inconvenient. Actually getting to the destination would be fine, but days out? Not so much fun. So we hired a car (from *cough* here http://www.intack.co.uk/ *cough*).
David went to pick it up and as soon as I saw it I said, “Two doors?”
“Oh crap,” he said. “I didn’t even notice.”
“You mean you noticed, but you didn’t like to say?” I said, because I’ve known him for 17 years. But, no, he claims he really didn’t notice.
I thought about sending him back with a flea in his ear, but I decided that if we managed fine with the Fiat 500, we’d manage fine with this. And we did.
Harry and Joe were delighted to have a car again. Joe greets every car we get – whether a hire car or a review car – with an enthusiastic “New car!” (he still shouts “new car!” at every white Fiat 500 he sees) whereas Harry, while happy enough with any car, is still pining for the Skoda Yeti. (I am a bit myself, I must admit. I have no idea what our financial situation will be next year – when we absolutely HAVE to buy a car – but I’m really hoping we’ll be able to stretch to a Yeti.)
The thing about hiring a car for a week and taking it on holiday is that by the time we got back it was like a dustbin on wheels. Honestly, I’ve never seen anything like it, not in such a short amount of time.
Yes, we started off limiting what the boys could have to eat/drink in the car, but we soon gave up on that in favour of Keeping Them Quiet, so even though we told them to be careful, there was spilled drink, apple cores, banana skins, melted ice creams, chips, mud, sand… it was not pretty.
But it made me think again about how much our old car – my Daewoo – was almost like a portable home. Books and DVDs in the door pockets, pram and wellies and kites in the boot, Halo James in the cassette deck (What? It was the only place I could play it).
That little bit of house-on-wheels is one of the things I miss the most.
–
Keris Stainton
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Fiat 500 review – a family car?
The awfully-lovely people at Fiat saw Keris’ Carless whispers column, and spotted that she had always yearned for a Fiat 500… and really rather sweetly asked her if she’s like to try one out for a couple of weeks. Well, she wasn’t about to say no, was she?
One of the first songs I can remember learning at school was called “Hey, Topolini!” I don’t remember much of how it went (“Hey, Topolini! Vroom, vroom, vararrrr!”) but I remember the illustration on the song sheet – a Fiat 500 with Mickey Mouse’s face where the badge should have been. Later, one of our neighbours got a black Fiat 500 and I would admire it every time I walked past. It was just so tiny! And cute!
It had long been my plan to buy myself an original Fiat 500 someday and then Fiat came out with the new version. I became a bit obsessed. So when I was offered one to review, I was beside myself. As was Harry, who’d joined me in my obsession wholeheartedly. My husband, David, was less convinced. At 6’1″ he figured it would be much too small for him to drive.
I was the only one home when it was delivered so I got to try it out on my own and I absolutely loved it. It was just so easy to drive and really comfortable. I loved the glass roof and the shiny pearlised dashboard (I never thought I’d comment on a dashboard, but really – it’s pretty).
Another nice thing about the Fiat 500 is the approving looks you get from other drivers. Lots of people came over to ask me about it (yeah, okay, two). And our next door neighbour with whom conversation has been limited to “Hi.” “Hi.” “Alright?” “Yes, thanks.” for almost seven years practically jumped over his front garden wall to tell me all about the Fiat 500 he owned in the early 80s (he was proud to recite the number plate to me. Baffling.)
When Harry came home, he was interested in the sunroof and the shade, but mostly keen to find out what the Blue&Me could do. Unfortunately for him, I had no idea. I knew it was in-car Bluetooth and someone had told me it meant you could play songs from your phone through the in-car stereo, but… *clueless face*
The following morning, we were driving over to visit my sister, I got out to buy a paper and while I was gone, David hooked up the Blue&Me and voice-dialled my sister. When I got back in, they tried to demonstrate it to me, but it kept trying to phone someone else who we did NOT want to talk to. “Nooooooo!” We all shouted. “End call! END CALL!” Fortunately, the car ended the call, but it made us so nervous that we didn’t try Blue&Me again.
David was right, though, the Fiat was much too small for him. He had his seat pushed so far back that Joe had to sit cross-legged in his car seat (occasionally stretching his legs out on to rest his feet on the back of his dad’s head) and even then, D’s left leg started to hurt him within about five minutes of setting off. There was plenty of legroom in the passenger seat and we liked the fact that the gearstick was higher up so our elbows didn’t bash together like they used to in our (tiny) Daewoo, but it’s definitely a car more suited to someone short.
It’s only two door, which David was worried about – he didn’t think we’d get the car seats in. That wasn’t a problem as it turned out and it was actually easier for me to get Joe in his seat since I just climbed in after him. (Joe also found it easier to climb into the car seat himself than he has in any other car. Not sure if that’s because of the Fiat or because Joe’s grown!) The boot is tiny, but fine for shopping, etc. We couldn’t fit Joe’s buggy in it though (which he was delighted about because he’d much rather walk anyway).
So. To sum up. I really REALLY loved the car. I did. But it doesn’t work as a family car at all (and to be fair, it’s really not meant to).
If I’d had it when I was young and single I would have totally felt like the dog’s doohdahs… but it’s really no good to me now.
I’m glad I drove it, but it’s definitely cured me of my obsession. I still might buy a vintage Topolini, but it’ll have to wait till the boys have left home.
–
Keris Stainton
OUT NOW! Jessie Hearts NYC – “A breezy summer rom-com, with oodles of New York glamour.” The Bookseller
Twitter: @keris
My website: www.keris-stainton.com
Girls Heart Books
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Carless Whispers – In Which Keris Contemplates Car Ownership
Now that there’s a possibility of us getting a car in the near(ish) future, I’m flip-flopping. I definitely thing the benefits of being carless have outweighed the drawbacks. Possibly. Most of the time anyway.
On the plus side, there’s the exercise we’re all getting; the extra time that I spend with the boys, chatting about our day, spotting things on the canal – in fact, just to think we never would have seen the dozens and dozens of ducklings we’ve spent the last few weeks feeding is enough to convince me that we’re better off not having a car.
But then there’s the fact that we haven’t been able to really go anywhere. The upside of that is that we’ve spent less money and enjoyed our immediate area much more than I would have thought, but we haven’t been able to visit family or just take off for the day if we needed a break or the weather was particularly nice.
And then there have been the other little inconveniences: running out of food, having to do our “big shop” online and remember to pick up milk whenever we see it; the grandparents always having to collect and return the boys when they go to stay; not being able to go out for dinner since there are no good restaurants within walking distance (or even on a bus route).
The best thing has almost certainly been the saving money-wise. Cars are so ridiculously expensive to buy and run and now that we’ve started talking about buying a new one, the thought of how much it will add to our budget is enough to bring me out in hives. In fact, I do wonder if it would be better to stay carless as long as possible (there’s no way we could manage without one once David’s office moves next year). Couldn’t we just try to manage as locally as possible and hire a car whenever we need to go further afield? But then I think about how much better life was when we had the Skoda and I change my mind again.
Maybe I’ll toss a coin…
–
Keris Stainton
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
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Ready for Ten
Carless Whispers – In Which Keris’ Car Is Gone. Again.
So. Where was I? Oh yes, I was smug about how brilliantly we were managing without a car.
Then I was whinging about how bloody awful it was not having a car.
And then Skoda loaned us a car. For six weeks. And it was completely brilliant. But of course it had to go back and I was very brave. My boys, however, were less than impressed. Harry shed a tear, while Joe was furious, shouting “No! NO!” at the poor man who’d obviously drawn the short straw and had to drive it away.
The following day, we set off to go to the shops and Joe said, “Keys?” I reminded him we no longer had a car. “Keys?” he said again. We turned the corner. “Car?” Joe said, plaintively. “Car? Gone?” Harry and I laughed, but we were both thinking the same thing.
It’s been interesting to see how we’ve adjusted. When the car first arrived, I vowed that we wouldn’t be using it all the time – we’d still walk to school, for example. Yeah, that didn’t last. Almost every day we came up with a reason (excuse) to drive. The weather was bad (too cold, too wet, too hot, too windy), I was too busy, too tired, too hungry or I had to go to the post office or the supermarket or just, you know, anywhere. It probably took just over a week for us to give up on the excuses and just admit since we had a car, we were going to use it.
And apparently six weeks is pretty much the perfect amount of time for it to become habit-forming. Because it was hard to adjust to life without it. More than once, I went to grab the keys off the hook before realising… no keys. (Keys? Gone?) We’d run out of milk, I’d think “Oh, I’ll just nip to the shop…” before remembering. (Car? Gone?) Even as recently as last week when we’d been carless (again) for a fortnight, I suggested to David that we drop the boys off at the inlaws’ and then go out for dinner. “Drop them off how?” he asked. And my heart sank. Car. Gone.
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
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Read MoreFunniest Car Review you’ll ever read – The Skoda Yeti Review
Remember our Carless Whispers column from Keris? Well, she’s not been officially ‘carless’ for a few weeks, thanks to those magically marvellous people at Skoda who decided to loan her a car. They didn’t ask for a review of the Skoda Yeti they sent her – they asked for no recognition at all in fact. Did I mention how much we love the Skoda PR team? But Keris felt obliged to let them know what she thinks. But no switching off now – this is not a Car Review as you would expect it…
I’ll admit I didn’t know much about Skodas before the Yeti was delivered. I’d had a look at the website and blanched at the size of it – it looked enormous! Outside of driving lessons, I’d only ever driven a Daewoo Matiz, which is basically a Noddy car. I was worried my feet wouldn’t reach the pedals in a 4×4.
Once it arrived, I was really keen to get in and have a go, it’s such a lovely, sturdy-looking car. I didn’t have any problems reaching the pedals – the seat and steering wheel are adjustable (although I did sit on a cushion for a couple of weeks until I realised the seat could be raised as well as scooted forwards) and it’s extremely comfortable to drive.
Having never reviewed a car before – and not being a “petrolhead” (as I believe car people are called) I’ll just tell you what I liked and didn’t like about it. Oh and do bear in mind that lots of the things I’ve been excited about may be standard in cars – my Daewoo didn’t even have central locking, so this was all new to me.
One of the first things we discovered was that you can play DVDs on the dashboard. Not while you’re driving (that wouldn’t be safe), but while parked and waiting. This went down very well with Joe and it was all we could do to remove him from the car for the first few days. Harry also loves the Map and happily watches our little red arrow as it makes its way to our destination.
The parking sensors are really useful – I’d also been worried about parking a car that’s basically twice the size of my previous car. The only problem is that if the sensors started beeping, the boys both get completely overexcited (Joe beeping along with them, Harry shouting “Careful, Middy! You’re too close! MIDDY! TOO CLOSE!”) which generally destroys my concentration. So we’ve spend rather a lot of time going round the block to find a space I can get into without being shrieked at.
We heard about the “Park assist” feature from a friend and while Harry was keen to try it out, I was nervous. (David was clueless, asking, “What? You get OUT of the car and it parks itself?!” No.) Eventually I managed it and we were all delighted as the car reversed into a space while I waved my hands above my head.
What else? Oh, there’s a display behind the steering wheel that tells you what gear you’re in and what gear you should be in. This would have been completely brilliant when I was learning to drive and is pretty useful even now. Although it does seem to want me to be in 6th a surprising amount of the time (and I don’t actually like 6th – I feel like I’m freewheeling). I’ve found this feature to be particularly useful since, unlike the Daewoo, the Skoda’s engine noise doesn’t make it clear when I should be changing gear. I could happily be tootling round in 2nd without even realising.
The front seats are heated, which just seemed like pure luxury after the Daewoo which, on a wet or frosty day, I had to dry ON THE INSIDE. They’re also a source of hilarity to Harry, who likes to shout “Middy! I think your butt’s on fire!” whenever I have three “bars” on. And there’s automatic heating and air conditioning too.
I frequently have bad dreams in which I’m driving in the dark, but have forgotten to put my lights on and am leaving all kinds of chaos in my wake. The Skoda has automatic lights, which come on and turn off when needed. Brilliant.
The boot is big and features a little basket to stop things rolling around. I would have complained that I had to jump up to shut it, but then my sister pointed out the handle for pulling it down… Skoda appear to have thought of everything.
The only issue I’ve had with driving is that I sometimes struggle to find the biting point, as does David. This means that, to begin with, I stalled a stupid number of times, particularly on very slight hills. On one occasion, I stalled dramatically about six times while the boys howled with laughter and shouted “Again! Do that jerking thing again, Middy!”
The only other thing I’d say is that the cup holders are a bit awkwardly positioned. Really, this is a brilliant car.
We’re all going to be sorry to have to give it back. In fact, we’re trying not to think about it since it’s become like a second home (with related mess – Harry asked, “Are you going to get the car cleaned before it goes back?” Yes. Yes, we are.) We’re still not in a position to buy a car, but as soon as we are, we’ll be looking at Skodas. And we’ll never forget our Yeti… *cries* *waves hankie*
–
Keris Stainton
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
http://www.thebigzeroes.co.uk
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Read MoreCarless Whispers (extra) – in which Skoda are really rather lovely.
This is from me (Laura), not Keris – but we wanted to do an extra-ordinary Carless post, to let you know what’s happened this week.
When Keris began writing about the two-cars-to-no-cars situation she found her family in, she presumed she was entertaining LittleStuff’s readers in her usual fashion. She didn’t expect a car manufacturer to notice. She certainly didn’t expect to get back from the school run yesterday to find a new Skoda waiting for her.
Someone on the Skoda team happened to read this particular edition of Carless Whispers. They spoke to the right people, and contacted me, saying they would love to help out. No review request, no PR demands, no press release from their marketing department, not even asking for a suitably placed banner. Just a very lovely set of emails from Pippa at Skoda (mum, two daughters, seems to work late in the evening when they’re in bed… sound familiar?), asking if LittleStuff thought Keris might like to have the use of a car for six weeks, until the weather at least turns warmer.
As Keris said..
So, yesterday, the car landed… Here’s what I heard through the rest of the day…
Although that ‘successfully collected Harry’ part may have been a lie… This is what I received last night by email;
‘…after I picked H up, I spent about five minutes trying to work out how to put the car into reverse, while the woman who’d parked her Smart Car RIGHT UP TO MY FRONT BUMPER frowned at me out of the window of her house. Harry said, “It’s going to take us a looonnnnnnnng time to get home…” :) ‘
and then, about 20 minutes later, excited Keris clearly had more to say..
‘We’ve had a wonderful day! And tomorrow I’m driving myself to Starbucks to read through the first draft of the new book :) Although I do need to change the dashboard settings to mph instead of kmph or I’ll be in trouble…’
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In Which Keris Swears (probably).
So last week I was all smug. Smug about how cool Harry’s been with the whole carless thing, rather than actually being smug about being carless, but still. This week… not so much.
We’ve been lucky for a few weeks in that it hasn’t rained a lot – it’s been absolutely freezing, which has its own challenges (Joe refuses to wear gloves, but then cries because his hands are cold) – but cold trumps wet every time.
The other day, I set off to pick Harry up in a light drizzle. By the time I got to school it was hammering down. And windy too, so my hood kept blowing off. I had to take my glasses off because they were filling up with water like something off a cartoon and the rain was like tiny needles all over my face. (Good for the complexion or not?)
About five minutes from school, Joe decided that he didn’t want his rain cover on anymore. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I told him. “It’s pouring! You’ll get wet.” He seemed to reconsider and, instead, pulled his legs out of his Cosytoes and stuck his socked feet out from under the raincover.
I crouched down and tried to cram them back in, but he went rigid and there was nothing to be done. Crouching in front of a squawking, stubborn toddler, specs in my pocket, rain pouring down my bum cleavage, I thought, “I’m way too old for this crap.”
I trudged on, muttering darkly in Joe’s direction and, when he pulled his socks off and dropped them in the mud, thinking about maybe having a little cry.
Seeing Harry cheered me up and once we were back on the canal path with the wind behind us – no more rain needles! my hood stayed up! – I felt calmer.
“I wish we had a car,” Harry sighed.
“Too effin right,” I thought.
But didn’t say.
Honest.
–
Keris Stainton
(you can read more in the Carless Whispers series by clickety clicking on the image above)
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In Which Keris Finally Feels A Little Bit Smug.
Years ago, I looked after four children – aged 2, 5, 8 and 11 – while their parents were on holiday (I was young, I needed the money…). I had use of the mother’s car, but it had some sort of weird system where, when you stopped the car it had to kind of settle down and because it hadn’t settled before I’d turned the engine off… it broke. (I asked on Twitter what this wonder of technology would have been and the answer is Citroën’s hydropneumatic suspension. You know, if you care.) This meant we had to use the bus.
The children of the (pretty wealthy) family had never used the bus before. Ever. They weren’t keen. They couldn’t believe they had to walk to the bus stop. In fact, they couldn’t believe they had to walk full stop.
So one of the thing that’s really surprised me since we became car-free is how easily Harry’s adapted to it. He’s happy to get the bus and equally happy to walk. He’s also keen to be involved in the purchase of a new car. Walking to school one day last week Harry said, “There’s a car for sale there!” We were in a hurry to get to school so we couldn’t stop, but Harry said, “I didn’t see how much it was. But it was black, I think…” An important detail.
On the way home we stopped to have a look at it (it was blue) and I read the advert out to Harry and explained all about road tax, insurance, MOTs and the expression “two careful lady owners” (I know. But he’s actually quite interested in that kind of thing). We talked about it all the way home. Whether it would be big enough, what car he’d prefer (another Daewoo Matiz) (no chance), what car I’d prefer (a Fiat 500), what car Daddy might like (Who cares? We won’t be getting it). It was his main topic of conversation for quite a few days.
One rainy morning, he said, “I know you like walking… but when we get a car, could we walk when it’s dry and sunny and maybe drive on yucky days like this?” I had to stop and squeeze him.
It’s been so interesting (and a bit trying) managing without a car, but one of the best things about it has been how grown-up Harry’s been about it.
–
Keris Stainton
(you can read more in the Carless Whispers series by clickety clicking on the image above)
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In Which A Sad Keris Actually, Really, Truly NEEDS Her Car.
So just before Christmas, we learned the limitation of the carless life.
My dad had gone into hospital at the beginning of December and on the 19th, a Sunday, my sister phoned to say the hospital had suggested we go in. When my mum died in 1999, the hospital phoned and we got straight in the car and headed right there. This time, we had public transport, a Sunday and snow to contend with. (Being close to the end of the month, we couldn’t afford a hire car. We had the cost of the car, but not the deposit.)
I won’t bore you with the details, but it took me six hours to do what should have been a one hour journey. (This not only involved an hour’s wait on a freezing train platform, a rail replacement bus, three hours on a train with an overflowing loo and no heating and the final leg in a taxi – a taxi! – but I was also charged £10.40 for the privilege. Oh look, sorry, I did bore you with the details.) So then I spent the next few days staying with my sister while David and the boys missed me – and felt helpless – at home.
It really brought home the fact that we need a car, if only for emergencies. If we lived in the same town as the rest of the family then maybe not. If public transport was reliable then maybe not. But we don’t and it isn’t and the whole experience made me feel a bit cut off and also a bit… lame. I’m 40 this year and I had to get my father-in-law to drop me off at the station (after calling him away from church!).
It’s just no good.
So we’re not going to be carless forever, but we’ll still be carless for a while yet.
–
Keris Stainton
(you can read more in the Carless Whispers series by clickety clicking on the image above)
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In Which It Bloody Snows On Keris.
Snow. Bloody snow. Harry is about as excited as I’ve ever seen him. To him snow means Christmas. December also means Christmas. Snow on the 1st of December has seen him almost incandescent with excitement.
Me?
Not so much.
Last year it snowed too. The most I’ve known it snow for years. I couldn’t drive the car. The roads were treacherous and I haven’t been driving for long enough to feel confident heading out with two small children on board. Joe’s pram can’t manage the snow either so, for a couple of weeks, we were stuck in the house. I actually quite enjoyed it. I’m inherently lazy and would probably never leave the house if I
didn’t have to, so once I knew that I actually couldn’t, I just thought ‘hurrah’ and stayed in my pyjamas for days on end.
So not having a car this year probably won’t make that much difference. The thing is, winter is the worst time to have a car.
Actually, it’s probably not a bad time to have a good car – one where you can press a button (I assume you press a button) and the windows miraculously clear – but we’ve never had a car like that. I’ve spent the last two winters heading outside up to half an hour early to scrape and spray and scrape some more.
Not fun.
And then last winter was so cold (and my car so knackered) that the windscreen froze on the inside too. So I had to scrape outside then climb in and scrape inside too, getting covered in ice myself in the process. Frequently, I’d clear the car, bundle the kids in, set off for school and within a couple of minutes, have to stop to clear it again. Some days I literally had to scrape the inside of the screen WHILE DRIVING. It wasn’t safe. But what was the alternative?
This year I’m not yet sure what the alternative is. As I’m writing this, there’s a blizzard outside and I know I can’t get back to school to pick Harry up. David’s parents have been completely fantastic about collecting him in bad weather, but they’re busy today. And so David’s going to leave work early and pick Harry up on the way home. We’re lucky that his employer is flexible enough for him to do that, but it’s not a viable option for every day. So if the snow stays, who knows what we’re going to do.
I joked to Harry’s teacher that I may have to homeschool him until the snow clears.
It may turn out not to have been a joke at all.
–
Keris Stainton
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be
the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” – Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and
Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
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Read MoreCarless Whispers – In Which Keris Goes To The Seaside.
One of our favourite days out is to Lytham St Annes. We go every couple of months either to walk around the lake at Fairhaven or go to the pier and the fair at St Annes and it was one of the things I knew we’d miss once the cars went for a burton. It hadn’t occurred to me to try and get there on the train, but thankfully it occurred to David and so one Saturday we announced that we were off to the seaside.
“Are we going in the car?” Harry asked. He’s a bright child. Not so fast on the uptake, it seems.
Harry & Keris (and the fish and chips).
We all bundled up and headed for the station. It’s about a fifteen minute walk from our house, but it’s on the same route as the school run, so it’s a walk we’ve got extremely used to doing. The train journey was great. Whereas in the past, Joe would sit in the back of the car yelling at us, he was happy on the train looking out of the window and being fed a succession of various foodstuffs. The sun was shining, I was reading a book, everyone was happy. I was starting to think there was something in this carless thing after all.
We got to Lytham and had a bit of a wander before heading towards the prom to get fish and chips for lunch. Sitting outside, we’d just opened our mushy peas when Harry said, “That looks like a big cloud!” And it started to rain. Hoods up, raincover on the pram, we ate our fish and chips huddled together for warmth.
“This is when you need a car,” I said. “What are we supposed to do now?”
We finished our lunch and scurried down to the pier where we played air hockey, had a go on a few (small, mild) rides before doing a bit of bowling. By then, the rain had practically stopped and a rainbow across the beach heralded the return of the sun. We walked along the prom, looking out across the twinkling bay. Even though it was still freezing, Harry bought an ice lolly. On the way back to the station, we stopped for coffee and cake.
“We’ve had a lovely time today!” Harry said.
And we had.
Shall I gloss over the bit where the train was late and we waited in the wind and the rain? And the drunk woman who spent half of the (extended due to the adverse weather) journey talking loudly to Joe as if he was a particularly simple-minded budgie -
“You’re very clever,aren’t you? Yes you are. I know. I know. You are. Yes you are. Very clever. Aren’t you? Yes you are! I know!”
And then the walk home from the station in the damp and the cold and the dark? No. It was all part of the fun.
Yes, we seem to be changing our definition of fun…
–
Keris Stainton
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be
the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” – Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and
Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In Which Keris Is Banned From Cheese.
One thing we learned pretty quickly on this carless journey of ours is that it’s, well, impossible. We can’t manage without a car. Not all the time, that’s for sure.
One of the first things I thought of after David’s car broke down was a naming ceremony we were due to go to. It was for the baby of two of our closest friends and we really didn’t want to miss it, but it was in a small Yorkshire village, pretty much impossible to get to by public transport.
So David suggested we try a car club. I googled. In case you’re unfamiliar, car clubs allow you to book a car from their fleet for as long or as little as you need it. “All the convenience of a car, without the hassles and expenses of owning one.” Except the closest cars to us are 25 miles away and it would cost us £50 per year to join the club with car rental rates from £39.50 for 24 hours. Call me crazy, but that didn’t actually sound much cheaper than, you know, hiring a car. The old-fashioned way.
There’s actually a reliable car hire company nearby (*cough* Intack Self Drive ) so we got on the phone: £24.90 for 24 hours. And that was for a Chevrolet (formerly Daewoo) Matiz, i.e. the same car I used to have that Harry was missing terribly. We knew he’d be delighted. We booked it.
The weird thing about having a car again was how easily we got used to it, but, at the same time, how indulgent it felt. Years ago I was put on an exclusion diet (they thought I had arthritis – I didn’t) and, after about four weeks of only eating vegetables, I was allowed a little cheese. I was so excited! Cheese! It was suddenly the most delicious thing in the world! I couldn’t believe I was allowed to eat it. Well, having a car again (however temporarily) was like that. I was like that character from The Fast Show: aren’t cars brilliant?! They wait outside your house and then when you want to go somewhere you can just get in and drive off! Brilliant!
But then we had to give it back. A sad day indeed. But we’ve since hired a car again (*cough* Intack) to take me to a book event in Chester (*note from Laura – Get you and your ‘book event’*) and booked it for two days so we could make our favourite family trip to Lancaster. It’s good to know that we have easy and inexpensive access to a reliable car whenever we need one and it certainly works out a lot cheaper than having a car of our own. The only problem is that David won’t let us eat in a hire car. Not even cheese.
–
Keris Stainton
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In which Keris takes on Mrs Thatcher, and thinks carlessness is genetic.
Just after David’s car packed up and we became carless (should that be “car-free”?), David read the following quote from former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher:
“A man who, beyond the age of 30, finds himself on a bus can count himself as a failure.”*
Well she was just a treat, wasn’t she?! But I somewhat take her point. I mean, we can’t exactly consider ourselves a great success, can we? It’s not as if we’ve chosen to give up our cars and use the bus, that would perhaps be admirable. No, we’re using the bus because, at the moment, we can’t afford a car. David’s just turned 40, I’m 40 next year and, yes, I’d kind of hoped that by this point we’d be in a better financial position. But it made me think…
A while ago, me and my sister were talking about how we never seem to have enough money and wondering if it’s as a result of how we grew up. Mum and dad were fine (not rich, but comfortable) until my dad was made redundant when I was in my early teens and from then on, it was a struggle. I actually don’t have any good money memories and I can’t help wondering (in a Carrie Bradshaw style…) if that’s why I struggle with money. They say you repeat childhood patterns, even the bad ones, don’t they.
It also got me thinking about cars. Growing up, Dad had a succession of cars, none of them particularly good. I remember a bright orange Nissan Sunny, a “champagne” Ford Escort, a yellow Vauxhall Viva. He never paid much for them and he drove them until they died, at which point he bought another cheap replacement. Up until now, David and I have done the same. In fact the last car we had – the Rover – was my dad’s final car. Dad has Parkinson’s and is no longer allowed to drive and so he gave the car to us. That’s how we ended up with two cars in the first place.
I know it sounds rather woo-woo and possibly utterly stupid, but I wonder if by scrapping my dad’s final car, we can also scrap the car-based pattern we’ve been copying.
I don’t care what Thatcher said, I’d consider that a success.
* Googling the quote, I found that Thatcher actually said ‘beyond the age of 26′. Now that’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?
–
Keris Stainton
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
http://www.fiveminutespeace.co.uk
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In which Harry samples Bus Life.
Before the cars went kaput, we’d got into a routine of going swimming every Sunday. It had been a long time coming – we’d tried various local swimming pools with little success (too dirty, too inconvenient, too crowded, too small changing rooms) and had finally discovered a brand new leisure centre with family changing rooms and free family swimming on Sundays. Brilliant. But a 15 minute drive away.
Harry was keen to keep going and we didn’t want to disappoint him, so it would have to be the bus. I decided to stay at home with Joe (who was usually at the end of his tether post-swim anyway, without adding two bus trips to the schedule – and what would we do with the pram?) and David and Harry set off on the 15 minute walk to the correct bus stop. It was a great success, but between walking to and from the bus stop, waiting for the buses and then the journeys, they were away for four hours. That’s a pretty big chunk out of a weekend that we like to spend as a family.
Another family routine is Kids AM at Vue Cinema. We don’t go every week, but we do love it. That was one thing that’s totally doable on the bus. Harry is actually a very entertaining bus companion. He chatters away and actually enjoys the novelty of a bus journey. It was that novelty that made me think going without a car could actually be a good thing, for Harry at least. New experiences and all that. And when he’s complained about the car situation, I’ve done the ‘you’re very lucky to have had a car! Lots of families don’t have cars!’ thing. I got a bus when I was his age, what’s the problem?
Well one problem is the other people on the bus. On the way there, a man started talking to us about the next town along and made a racist remark, which thankfully went over Harry’s head, but which I could still do without him being subjected to. On the way back – bearing in mind it was about noon – there was an extremely drunk bloke yelling and telling dodgy stories.
“He’s very loud,” Harry said. “I hope he gets off soon.”
He did. He got off at the pub.
I resisted the urge to join him.
–
Keris Stainton
(you can read more in the Carless Whispers series by clickety clicking on the image above)
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
http://www.fiveminutespeace.co.uk
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In Which Keris Actually Realises What Carless Means.
As we suspected, David’s car was done for. Not completely beyond repair, but bad (and expensive) enough that the mechanic suggested it wouldn’t be worth doing. And when a mechanic is telling you not to bother, you don’t bother.
We’re lucky in that David only works 20 minutes away and can get a bus there from the end of our road (the buses back are a little trickier, but still doable). The fare is pretty steep – £25 per week – but we’d be saving that on petrol anyway, so fine. In fact, at first I was so blinded by the savings I couldn’t think of anything else. I felt giddy with the prospect of all the spare money.
And then I thought, “But how will we GO anywhere?!”
Getting to school and work is one thing, but what about weekends? Holidays? My family lives an hour’s drive away, but it’s a right pain to get to on the bus.
What about shopping? There aren’t really any supermarkets within reasonable walking distance and there are certainly no independent shops.
Walking home from school with Harry one day, he mentioned Williamson Park in Lancaster. We love it there. We drive over the Trough of Bowland, go to the park and then drive to Morecombe for fish and chips.
Which we eat sitting in the car.
Realising we would no longer be able to head off for days out, I felt bereft.
“What are we going to do about a car?” I asked David.
He shrugged, “What can we do?”
Right.
Okay.
It’ll be… an adventure.
–
Keris Stainton
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
http://www.fiveminutespeace.co.uk
Read MoreCarless Whispers – In which Keris loses a car. Or two.
In a new series from the little-bit-brilliant Keris Stainton (she of the weaning diary ‘Slopsville‘ fame… and rather less importantly a small amount of minor stardom as a much-touted fabulous YA author of course), Carless Whispers is a record of her family’s experience of Life Minus Car…
Once upon a time, we had two cars. Well, I say once upon a time – it was about a month ago. The MOT was due on my car (a titchy Daewoo Matiz) and my husband David said it would certainly fail. With petrol prices as they are and my insurance being pretty high since I only passed my test a few years ago, running two cars was expensive and, we decided, unnecessary. We could manage with one, we said. We’d managed with one up until a year ago when my dad found he could no longer drive for health reasons and gave us his Rover. It would mean doing the school run on foot, but I could do with the exercise. It’d be fine.
So we scrapped my car. I was surprised at how emotional it was. I felt guilty, thinking I should have tried the MOT – maybe the car wasn’t as bad as we thought. Maybe it would have passed. I should at least have given it a chance! As it was put on the back of the scrap merchant’s truck, I actually cried. It had taken me a LONG time to learn to drive and it was my first car. I was going to miss it.
I started doing the school run on foot – me, my 6-year-old son Harry and 20-month-old Joe in his buggy. It’s about a half hour walk each way, but it was good. We had fun. A few times when I picked Harry up, it was raining heavily so I phoned David, who works just 20 minutes drive away and finishes at 4, and we waited in the library for him to pick us up. We were saving money on insurance and petrol, had got £60 back on the Road Tax and £80 scrap for the car. It was all working out very well. (Did you just hear the “sod’s law” alarm going off?)
After a couple of weeks, we were driving up to David’s parents to drop the boys off for the night. David was going out with work colleagues and I’d planned an indulgent evening of Friends repeats and a Chinese takeaway. As we headed up quite a steep hill to their house, the car started making a strange rattling sound.
“That’s not a happy sound,” I said.
“Nope,” David agreed. He seemed to be having trouble changing gear.
“Has it been doing that for a while?” I asked.
“Just started,” David said.
We made it up the hill, but the rattling continued on the flat. We turned a corner and headed up another, smaller hill. We got to the top, stopped at the junction and… the car died.
“Great,” David said.
“Is that smoke?” I asked, pointing at the front of the car.
David rolled the car back to the kerb and parked it. I hauled the boys and their bags out of the back. We walked the last five minutes to the in-laws’ house.
“Maybe it’s nothing,” I said.
But we knew.
We all knew.
Even Harry said, “What are we going to do about a car NOW?”
Good question.
–
Keris Stainton
Debut novel DELLA SAYS: OMG! out now
“Confidence-boosty sex-positive first love goodness. This could be the Forever of the 21st century, girls…” - Susie Day, author of Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake
http://www.twitter.com/keris
http://www.keris-stainton.com
http://www.fiveminutespeace.co.uk
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